The kids let me sleep in this morning.I woke up to my son kissing my face.I smiled and reached for my phone to see the time,9:30am!And then there was the missed text from 6am this morning from Tess letting me know Vince had passed.My heart shattered and the tears ran warm down my face.I hugged my babies.
Those of you that remember my past blog posts about him know that 4 years old is just too young to leave this world and yet that is the reality.For those of you that are new to my blog Vince had brain cancer.I apologize for not updating everyone more but wanted to be respectful of the families privacy as his health declined.I've known for a while it was getting bad so I felt awful ignoring the inquiries I'd gotten about him but didn't want to over step my bounds as I'm sure you all can understand.
I could say a lot.I could ramble on and on I'm sure but as it is ,its hard to see the computer screen through the tears that have come and gone all day.Vince is just a smidge older than Heidi and I keep watching her thinking "what if she wasn't here anymore?Just gone!" and it makes my heart break that much more for Roxanne.
Vince,you are...were an awesome kid.You fought hard.You endured more pain than any child ever should.In the end the cancer was more than your little body would handle.Some things are bigger than us.Your death is so much bigger than me.I don't understand it.I know life isn't fair.But your passing makes me realize this all that much more.I find comfort knowing you're no longer in pain though.I'm not in the same faith but I hope your God holds you close and you're with friends and families passed before you.Remember to watch over your little brother and your Mother.A warm breeze in her hair to remind her you're still there kid.
Before my titles and tags for Vince were "praying for Vince".Vince doesn't need them anymore though.He's moved on to better and bigger things.Instead now I ask for prayers for Roxanne.
Roxanne I hope you know how much support you have and how inspiring you have been to so many of us.You are truly a pillar of strength.I have been a mixture of sad and angry all day.It was very humbling to hear you say you were trying to show Gods love and grace through this instead of anger.You're a better person than I.I'm happy in the end he got to pass at home with you and his father there for him.
I just wanted to share this sad news with my fellow readers that have taken the time to care and keep this family in your thoughts and prayers.It DOES mean something.In a world so jaded and self important taking the time out for someone else has become a rarity so its not in vain and it is appreciated.
Nothing takes away the hurt of losing a child.It is the greatest injustice a parent can face is outliving their offspring.For those of you with kids,hug them extra tight today.It is unfortunate that bad things have to happen for us to be reminded of how grateful we SHOULD be.Vince,you might have only been 4 but you've taught me that lesson.Looking at your photos,your eyes portrayed to me that you were an old soul,you were definitely wise beyond your years little man.I'm just sorry you couldn't stick around to enlighten us all a little more.