I love tattoos and I believe you should always get something that means something to you,you're less likely to regret it one day if it has meaning to you versus getting a piece of flash off a wall.I've been judged often all through out my life.From my upbringing,my fashion sense,my taste in music,my politics,my faith and I've taken it all in stride I think.But NOTHING could prepare me for the judgment I would receive when I became a mother.
Now there is a certain martyrdom that comes with motherhood.Humans are selfish by nature and we have to let that part of us die when we become mothers,or at least if we want to be a decent one.It's no longer about all about us.That's part of of the symbolism behind my tattoo.
The second and larger part is the constant ridicule we put ourselves under for the love of our children.We as a society crucify mothers for our choices we make for our children.Bottle fed vs. Breast,cloth vs. disposable diapers,to vaccinate or not and so on and so forth.When our perfect little angels act the fool in public you'll often find instead of a sympathetic nod and smile of "hey I've been there before" you're often met with heads being shaken in disgust and a scowl.Constant judgment.
So for me this symbolizes all that and is a reminder that I'm not a perfect mother but I'm a darn good one.At first glance we may not fit in the norm of society but my children are smart,well cared for and truly loved and it's ok for people to assume whatever they want about me because it doesn't change the fact that I'm doing a good job.Also it's a reminder for me (who is a mother that cloth diapers,breastfeeds and chooses green vaccines) that my way is just that,mine and not to crucify another mom for what she does with hers.The saying that it takes a village to raise a child seems lost now a days.I want to be supportive,I don't know why as women we feel the need to tear each other down.
I really really loved this post...and your tattoo. While in the grocercy store once a women looked right at me and said, "well at LEAST the baby looks healthy"..wanted to punch her right in the throat..some women! xo
ReplyDeleteyikes!gah!some women are soooo mean
ReplyDeletethis is a really awesome explanation of your tattoo, but also a social issue I don't think a lot of people really confront. Very thought-provoking and important post!
ReplyDeleteMom used to tell me how bad it was for her before us kids came along. In her day, you weren't a WOMAN if you didn't start having kids by the time you were 20. She wanted kids desperately, but that didn't happen until years later.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, all the other women living in our neighborhood were gossipy judgmental witches lol. And we think the "good old days" were carefree? Not for my Mom. They judged her for not being able to have kids, and once she did, she got a solid dose of judgment from them as well.
She finally simply stopped talking to the neighbors whose kids harassed us relentlessly until we all grew up (there were far more of them than us).
I don't hang with a lot of people myself because I get sick and tired of judgmental folks. Who cares what you do or how you express yourself as long as you are a good person?
=) Rock on~~~
Wow! That's an awesome post!
ReplyDeleteYour words couldn't be truer. As a first time mother I find myself in the same position as you many a times. I get the weird looks, and gawks, and scoffs from other 'normal' looking moms. It's so annoying! I really don't understand like you said, why we like to tear each other down, why we just don't let a mother be the mother she feels fits her best because what works for one mother, may not work for another, and if that's the case then so be it. Don't crucify her for the choices she's made as a mother! Fantastic post and I love the symbolism behind your tattoo. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your new tattoo and the symbolism behind it! I don't have children, but I have witnessed mothers being horribly judged by other women. It's disgusting. I must say that I have been judged by women for not having children (I do not want any), just like the above commenter's mother. That is also very uncool. I don't know why people cannot mind their own business when something that personal is involved.
ReplyDeleteI love hearing the meaning behind people's tattoos. Yours is a great story. I'm not a parent myself but i have often thought to myself why mothers aren't more supportive to each other? Surely being in the same boat they would want to share their experiences and help each other other out instead of all this competition. It's the same i find with the vintage scene; some girls are so jealous of other girls and are never willing to share their "secrets", and they act so snobby if don't have the correct type of earrings for the era. Drives me mad!
ReplyDeletei love this post and that tattoo! and i am so glad to find a blog by a like minded mom who strives to be compassionate to other mothers. i HATE mommy wars! so glad to be here.
ReplyDeletehttp://bellisimama.blogspot.com/
Great tattoo! Says so much!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post! I love the meaning of your tattoo. I'm not a mom, but I hope to be one, one day and this is such a great reminder to embrace my beliefs and not worry about what other people think is best.
ReplyDeleteNot being a fan of tattoos or children myself (can't commit to the first, and definitely not ready for the latter) I can say that is a lovely piece of work you have there. It's nice to see a mother who cares about her children and be supportive of them, but wont let them run rampant all the time.
ReplyDeleteThat's neither here nor there though. I am an artist and so drawn to tattoos of all shapes, colours, and meanings, and I think this one is fantastic!